O.K. it is possible to work so much that you give up every aspect of who you are to the job. Now, that is super cool if you are living the dream and doing what you want to do with your life, BUT, if you are just a committed, hard worker, who gives 100 percent to whatever you do to make money, and you make money, and you like to make money . . .well, you can lose yourself in just about anything. Case in point, when I started working in film production I worked hard and I worked a lot. I never had much interest in filmmaking, but I did have a lot of interest in making money and whoo boy, was there money to be had. But, over time, I started losing who I was. I still really don’t know who I am, yet, and that’s sad, because, I am 42, a mom, which reminds me . . .I’m a mom. I’m Jake’s mom. That’s who I am for now. But who and what am I supposed to be in the long run. I feel like I just stream along, existing, but not really travelling on a path. And how can you really get anywhere if you don’t have a destination. I don’t know if I want to succeed at making the world a better place or getting stainless steel appliances. And to be honest with you, I’m not on either one of those paths. I’m feeding people. Not one of my better talents, and I’m not making a large amount of money doing it, though I do make a decent wage. I have recently finished “catering season” for Tacodeli. I can’t really remember when it started, but it feels like it was in October or November. I know there was a break in January or February. I think. I know I did a wedding in early April and I have never recovered from it. So, here it is, entering June, and my phone hasn’t rung all day, yippee. I have baked bread and made meals for Jake and myself and we are about to go swimming. I want to just do this job and not lose myself in it. How do you do it? I hope to do some more blogging. I have plenty to say. So, here’s a few quick thoughts . . .
1. Kiss your kids till they won’t let you kiss them anymore and then kiss them later, when they do let you. How cute are they anyway.
2. Remember, Memorial Day occurs for a reason. We are supposed to honor those who fought in a war and those who continue to fight in a war that I’m still confused about. We’ve been there 4 years? How many people have died. And exactly why are we there? Just remember this when you go about your daily chores, I’m trying to.
3. Be grateful for what you have, every day.
4. Breathe before you say anything. Never say Hate. Be nice or leave.
O.K. thanks for letting me get that blather off my chest. I just needed to blog again.
My response is to go rent a documentary called “I Like Killing Flies.” That’s all I can tell you..